“What a sad era when it is easier to smash an atom than a prejudice.”
― Albert Einstein

Fear and Ignorance. These two pillars of bigotry are powerful allies. Each supports the other. Ignorance seems to be on the increase as people are persuaded by different groups and social circles to encourage and validate a plethora of belief systems. Division can be created in an instant from diversity as humans weave different belief systems into our own identities.

Diversity surrounds us! It’s a beautiful and natural part of this universe. Even the most bigoted can’t avoid or remove it, however hard they try. People act in biased and discriminatory ways through ignorance and fear.  

Discrimination is illogical. You can’t show a rational reason to support it. However, bigots aren't using logic. They use emotions (especially fear) in the face of anything they don't understand, or that doesn't fit into their belief systems.  These fear-based emotions often place a creative block within conversation and learning.

8 Ways to Identify Bigotry in Conversation

1. A bigot can’t listen to differing opinions because they feel like if they do, they are agreeing. They then feel the need to disagree before they even know what the other person is saying.

2. A bigot is afraid that others are too stupid to think for themselves so they must rescue them from their ignorance. If the other person objects or resists, they shut them down or exit the conversation because they are afraid of being defiled by the other person’s thinking.

3. A bigot has no desire to learn anything about a person who thinks differently. The bigot cares not what the other person thinks and why they think it.

4. A bigot will accuse others of being bigoted because the other person will expose their prejudices.

5. A bigot will stereotype others who are different and create labels.

6. A bigot will demonize what is being said to them and do not seek to understand.

7. A bigot will ignore any information that contradicts their point of view and dismisses it.

8. Without reliable sources and/or logic, a bigot will judge and demagogue those who speak a different opinion.

Keep kicking at the indifference until it bleeds life!

Dan Tocchini

The Hero Being Process



"There is no certainty; there is only adventure."  Roberto Assagioli

Certainty can be a dangerous thing.  Like suspicion, certainty can remove us from possibility, especially when it comes to relationship and communicating with other humans.  Curiosity is a powerful counter strategy that we can use to open possibility in relationship and to make way for growth and creation of a Life of Meaning.

The challenge for all of us in life is that our brain lies about the reality it perceives. Because it is uncompromising in its commitment to survive, it gives the human brain a false sense of permanence, so we feel better about living in the ever-changing world that surrounds us.

If we don’t question what we perceive we will eventually be ambushed by reality.

The crazy thing is that we go about our lives so sure about who we are, who others are and how circumstances will turn out. By living in a state of certainty, we stop wondering about what is possible outside of the narrow way we see life.

We often confuse confidence with certainty. Certainty has to do with being convinced that what we perceive is happening is real. Confidence is trust enough to investigate the paradox of doubting what seems real, to get real.

Psychologist and neuro-researcher Michael Gazzaniga has written: “The left brain weaves its story in order to convince itself and you that it is in full control…. What is so adaptive about having what amounts to a spin doctor in the left brain? The interpreter is trying to keep our personal story together. To do that, we have to learn to lie to ourselves.”

So when we get up against circumstances we cannot change, we are faced with changing ourselves. If we have been practicing permanence with our brain, we will find ourselves helpless to do anything about providing what is wanted and needed.

Can you think of anything you have been so certain of about yourself or others that have hindered growth or intimacy?  Make a list of certainties that you have been living with. Have these conversations you have been having made you feel "right" and "in control"? Is there something available in this list that a little curiosity could stir up in conversations with yourself and others?

Change strikes fear into the heart of the permanent, but opens possibility in the eyes of the confident! The next time things change on you and fear arises, be confident and trust there is possibility you aren’t seeing. While The Certain know, the curious are confident they will discover the unknown.

Keep kicking at the indifference until it bleeds life!

Dan Tocchini

The Hero Being Process



"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

 Think of  change as the gravity in life. Like waves in the ocean. If you surf you learn to harness the power of the wave. Otherwise you end up staying behind the break and going nowhere.

If you doubt that change is like a wave attempt to stop, control or dominate a wave, then go out an attempt to stop, control or dominate a change that is happening, like the election of a president, downturn in a market or hurtful choice somebody else makes.

Mastering change is like surfing. Change is the wave we all surf. Our ability to catch it determines our destination and the quality of ride in our lives. If we start to paddle into the wave too early we get in front of it and it crushes us, if we are too late we miss it and have gone nowhere or worse yet, we find ourselves sitting in the impact zone of the next wave!!

When we face circumstances we cannot change we are faced with one of two choices, resist the event or accept it. If we resist it; it only persists and we end up with more of what we say we don’t want Or we accept it and adapt to using the change to contribute to the future we say matters.

We can’t change circumstances, nor can we control other’s choices, but we can change what we make up about what we can’t change! Sooner or later we realize that the only thing we can control is how we relate to others and circumstances.

For the next day just notice what you complain about when a situation isn’t going the way you thought it should. Write down your biggest complaints, then write down the way you think it should be.

Now write down the way it is. Be detailed in your description of how it is distinct from what you are making up about what it should be. Just write what is actually happening with no interpretations.

Ask yourself what you are making up about it based on your complaint? Once that is clear ask yourself what could be as true or even more relevant than what you have made up about the way it is?

The paradox of change is while you can’t control it you can control what you make up about it and by changing what you make up about it you transform the process, your experience of it and what is possible!

Keep kicking at the indifference until it bleeds life!


Dan Tocchini

The Hero Being Process