"There is nothing permanent except change."    Heraclitus

 Think of  change as the gravity in life. Like waves in the ocean. If you surf you learn to harness the power of the wave. Otherwise you end up staying behind the break and going nowhere.

If you doubt that change is like a wave attempt to stop, control or dominate a wave, then go out an attempt to stop, control or dominate a change that is happening, like the election of a president, downturn in a market or hurtful choice somebody else makes.

Mastering change is like surfing. Change is the wave we all surf. Our ability to catch it determines our destination and the quality of ride in our lives. If we start to paddle into the wave too early we get in front of it and it crushes us, if we are too late we miss it and have gone nowhere or worse yet, we find ourselves sitting in the impact zone of the next wave!!

When we face circumstances we cannot change we are faced with one of two choices, resist the event or accept it. If we resist it; it only persists and we end up with more of what we say we don’t want Or we accept it and adapt to using the change to contribute to the future we say matters.

We can’t change circumstances, nor can we control other’s choices, but we can change what we make up about what we can’t change! Sooner or later we realize that the only thing we can control is how we relate to others and circumstances.

For the next day just notice what you complain about when a situation isn’t going the way you thought it should. Write down your biggest complaints, then write down the way you think it should be.

Now write down the way it is. Be detailed in your description of how it is distinct from what you are making up about what it should be. Just write what is actually happening with no interpretations.

Ask yourself what you are making up about it based on your complaint? Once that is clear ask yourself what could be as true or even more relevant than what you have made up about the way it is?

The paradox of change is while you can’t control it you can control what you make up about it and by changing what you make up about it you transform the process, your experience of it and what is possible!

Keep kicking at the indifference until it bleeds life!


Dan Tocchini

The Hero Being Process